I, Ric Susman, am channeling my inner “Parker Lewis” right now. Because when it comes to the Justice League movie, I, like Parker, can’t lose.

When the movie was announced I was instantly concerned. Man of Steel wasn’t great, BvS: DoJ was terrible (It was Green Lantern bad.), so I was pretty sure JL would also be, as the French say, “Le Butt Trash.”

Since we are just 3 weeks (Really!) away from the biggest movie for the entire DCEU and what could be the most important movie in DC Comics history period, I have come to a conclusion. No matter what happens, I am going to come out smelling like a rose.

This is the very simple math that will confirm the impossibility of my “losing.” Either (a) this movie is terrible and I was right to call it such from jump, or (b) this movie is great and I have to eat crow for a wonderful reason. I would be over the moon with (b). It means that my favorite characters and my favorite universe are finally moving in the right direction on the big screen. So, if I have to admit I was wrong, I am TOTALLY DOWN with that.

However, if it’s (a) and this movie is the most dumpstery fire in the history of dumpsters being on fire, then I was right all along. If you listen to our show, you know that I value being right a hell of a lot more than being happy. So I would be very proud to have predicted this outcome, while also being devastated that the film I’ve been waiting my whole life for sucked all the ass.

So, there you have it. I either win, or a take an L but still win because Justice League wasn’t terrible. No matter how you slice it, I can’t really lose. Parker Lewis may be gone but his spirit lives on in my general disdain and modicum of hope.

-The Sus-Man