Episode 119: Texans Protest, Yuli Gurriel, Shazam! and Contra

The Jerks discuss a busy week in both the worlds of sports and pop culture, from the Houston Texans players squaring off with their team’s owner, to Yuli Gurriel’s racial slur at the World Series and the 49ers asking fans if they care whether the team wins. Plus, why Tom thinks Zachary Levi will be great as DC’s Shazam!, whether the Deathstroke movie will actually get made and our thoughts on a TON of proposed Hollywood franchises and reboots, from Contra to Ace Ventura and Major League. T2J — it’s so full of comedy, you’ll get indigestion!

Those Two Jerks: Episode 119

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Just One (Sus) Man’s Opinion: Why the Yankees Have Ruined Baseball

So, the New York Yankees knocked out the Indians and have moved on to the ALCS. In doing so the Yankees have effectively killed baseball.

How could that be, you may ask? I’ll tell you. Baseball is in a very weird time right now, where it is looking less and less likely that the mantra of “Just Stay Open” is going to work. Baseball needs something, and last year we got the end of the worst drought in the history of the sport: the Chicago Cubs won the World Series

The Cubs left one team with a legendary losing streak to vanquish. That team is the Cleveland Indians, a team that was so good during the regular season they set a record, winning 22 games in a row!

Did this matter to the “Evil Empire”? Would they recognize that another Yankees pennant could mean the end of anyone outside of New York caring about baseball ever again? Of course not. The Yankees did what the Yankees do: they found a way to ruin everyone’s fun and ruined baseball.

Now, we all have to hope that the Houston Astros recognize that they need to lay down to the Yankees so the Cubs (Assuming they can get the job done tonight) can vanquish the Empire once and for all.

In fact, the bigger story than the Indians ending their drought would have been the Cubs winning two in a row. Nothing would cement the “return” of baseball than the Cubs slaying the dragon of the Yankees. I mean now that the Indians couldn’t get the job done.

But what happens if the Cubs lose to the Los Angeles Dodgers and the Astros take down the Yankees? Maybe we have a great story for the people of Houston, who could certainly use a great end to a terrible year, and the Texans aren’t going to provide it.

That won’t happen, of course. No, somehow, someway, we will have the LA/NY series that everyone will roll their eyes at because of how obvious it will be. Because the Yankees are a blight on the world and the Dodgers are just a less-successful version of the Yankees.

Meanwhile, it’s almost time for us to start thinking about next year, and the Mets are already mathematically eliminated from the playoffs. #stillmad

-The Sus-Man

Episode 117: NBA Expansion, MLB Playoffs, and the (Lack Of) Justice League Buzz

NBA Commissioner Adam Silver is hinting about expansion (and shortening the season?!), and the Jerks are talking about it! Plus, the MLB Playoffs begin, a breakdown of the (lack of) buzz around Justice League, and we try and figure out when a game about fighting Nazis became offensive. T2J – Just when we thought we were done talking about current events, they pulled us back in!

Those Two Jerks: Episode 117

Volume 9, Episode 2: The S#!t Shows of A-Rod, Tebow, Warner Bros. and the Olympics

It’s all about s#!t shows this week! The Jerks run down the Yankees’ botching of A-Rod’s farewell, the mess that is the 2016 Rio Olympics, and the farce that is Tim Tebow’s attempt at a baseball career. Plus, the open letter that says Warner Bros. Studios is a s#!t show, and the latest on Captain Marvel, Star Wars, and the future of Ghostbusters! T2J: Proving there’s a difference between a s#!tty show, and a s#!t show!

Those Two Jerks: Volume 9, Episode 2

Volume 8, Episode 5: The NFL Draft, Civil War and Han Solo

We’re inching ever-closer to our 100th episode! The Jerks recap the lackluster NFL Draft, explain why Dana Stubblefield is ALLEGEDLY the worst person on Earth, and break down Father Time’s continued winning streak (this time, he defeats the New York Yankees). Plus, they discuss the Flash movie’s need of a new director, those new Power Rangers costumes, and why there probably shouldn’t be a Han Solo movie. Those Two Jerks: Like bubble wrap for your ears!

Those Two Jerks: Volume 8, Episode 5

Volume 8, Episode 2: Jerks v. Batman v. Superman

After YEARS of coverage and discussion, the Jerks FINALLY saw Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice. What did they think? Find out in our extended, very special episode!

Those Two Jerks: Volume 8, Episode 2

Volume 8, Episode 1:The QB Shuffle, Ghostbusters and Spider-Man

We’re finally to Volume 8! The jerks run down the NFL QB carousel and baseball Hall of Famer Goose Gossage’s “interesting” take on the state of the game today. Plus, a break down of the two trailers for the new Ghostbusters, early positive reviews for Batman v. Superman, and something else we forgot–oh, wait–SPIDER-MAN! Also, you don’t want to miss Tom’s car story. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll feel a lot better about your own life! Those Two Jerks: We tried to register OUR secret identities with the government, but they didn’t want to know.

Those Two Jerks: Volume 8, Episode 1