Just One (Sus)Man’s Opinion: I Can’t Go Wrong Thinking ‘Justice League’ Will Suck

I, Ric Susman, am channeling my inner “Parker Lewis” right now. Because when it comes to the Justice League movie, I, like Parker, can’t lose.

When the movie was announced I was instantly concerned. Man of Steel wasn’t great, BvS: DoJ was terrible (It was Green Lantern bad.), so I was pretty sure JL would also be, as the French say, “Le Butt Trash.”

Since we are just 3 weeks (Really!) away from the biggest movie for the entire DCEU and what could be the most important movie in DC Comics history period, I have come to a conclusion. No matter what happens, I am going to come out smelling like a rose.

This is the very simple math that will confirm the impossibility of my “losing.” Either (a) this movie is terrible and I was right to call it such from jump, or (b) this movie is great and I have to eat crow for a wonderful reason. I would be over the moon with (b). It means that my favorite characters and my favorite universe are finally moving in the right direction on the big screen. So, if I have to admit I was wrong, I am TOTALLY DOWN with that.

However, if it’s (a) and this movie is the most dumpstery fire in the history of dumpsters being on fire, then I was right all along. If you listen to our show, you know that I value being right a hell of a lot more than being happy. So I would be very proud to have predicted this outcome, while also being devastated that the film I’ve been waiting my whole life for sucked all the ass.

So, there you have it. I either win, or a take an L but still win because Justice League wasn’t terrible. No matter how you slice it, I can’t really lose. Parker Lewis may be gone but his spirit lives on in my general disdain and modicum of hope.

-The Sus-Man

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Mini-Sode 7: No NFL Kneeling Rule, Justice League vs. Punisher, and Evil Vin Scully

It’s a mini-sode, but it’s chock full of funny stuff. The Jerks discuss the NFL owners choosing not to force the players to stand for the national anthem, and preview the 2017 World Series with legendary Dodgers broadcaster Vince Gully (That’s how you spell his name, right?)! Plus, Marvel and Netflix throw down their Punisher gauntlet in the face of DC and Justice League, and a conversation about the Black Panther trailer gets intense. T2J: Now with three times the dirty old man stories!

Those Two Jerks: Mini-Sode 7

Episode 118: Jags’ Owner on Trump, College Football Upsets, and A Whole Lotta Trailers

Jacksonville Jaguars owner Shad Khan can’t seem to make up his mind about President Trump, and the Jerks are talking about it. Plus, some major upsets in college football, and some smack talk from the #LeagueOfJerks. We’re also taking a close look at all the big movie and TV trailers from the past week, including Justice LeagueStar Wars: The Last JediThe New Mutants, and the new season of Stranger Things. Those Two Jerks: We’re only doing this to try and get McDonald’s to bring back the Arch Deluxe!

Those Two Jerks: Episode 118

Episode 114: Irma, The End of Goodell, Star Wars and Star Trek

We’re back, and we’re intact after surviving Hurricane Irma! The Jerks rundown why Jerry Jones could be engineering the end of Roger Goodell’s run as NFL Commissioner, Ric cries about the Vikings (already), and the latest on the League of Jerks fantasy football league. Plus, another Star Wars director is out, Disney is all in on its streaming service, and could review embargoes signal bad things for Star Trek: Discovery? It’s all here, wrapped in one lovely, handcrafted digital package!

Those Two Jerks: Episode 114

Episode 113: Mayweather Wins, Kyrie Gets Traded, and Tons of DC Movie News

It’s here, at last! Ric does a blow-by-blow recap of Mayweather vs. McGregor, we break down the Kyrie Irving trade, and sort through all of the HUGE DC Comics movie news (Scorsese and Phillips doing a Joker movie?!). Plus, why Pandora: The World of Avatar pisses Tom off. T2J: Still waiting for the Robert Zemeckis-helmed Booster Gold movie starring Channing Tatum!

Those Two Jerks: Episode 113

Mini-Sode 2: Yes, the Dog Barks the Whole Time

It’s our second (of what will be many) mini-sode! We’re discussing Warren Sapp joining the crusade against football head injuries, Tim Tebow’s promotion to the next level of the minors, the fake controversy about Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman salary, and Ron Howard taking over the Han Solo movie! It’s Those Two Jerks – plus a barking dog!

Those Two Jerks: Mini-Sode 2

Episode 107: The Unanswered Circus Question

The Jerks recap the NBA Finals, analyze the upcoming Floyd Mayweather-Conor McGregor fight and discuss UCF’s kicker’s NCAA woes because of his YouTube success. Plus, DC’s reaction to Wonder Woman’s box office numbers, Chris Evans signing up for more Captain America adventures, and what the guys are reading this week. Bonus: Find out how Nightwing’s circus background comes into play, and try to decipher why (We couldn’t).

Those Two Jerks: Episode 107